Dear Trey Hillman: the Shealy edition

I wrote this a few days ago, when a lineup published prior to a game didn't include Shealy. That reported lineup turned out to be wrong - Shealy was in that game - so I figured I didn't need to use this. Lo and behold, I was wrong. I'm starting to think Trey Hillman is just a really terrible manager. Anywho, on with it:

Dear Trey Hillman,
I know you've got a big job - it can't be easy running a team full of egos, babies, underperformers, and glorified AAA players. You're expected to do a lot with a very small amount of talent.I understand you're not in an enviable position, and no matter what you do, some people are going to be upset. That's what happens when you take the helm of a team like this.

HOWEVER, one basic thing that Royals fans should never have to endure from their manager again is the abuse of September callups. We had plenty of that with Buddy Bell, and many of us are in utter, horrified disbelief that you're doing the same thing.

Ross Gload is not an everyday first baseman; let's just get that out of the way right now. That should make it SO much easier to juggle your crowd of bodies at that position. I'll even take it a few steps further for you: Billy Butler isn't exactly a natural at that position either, but he can hit, and Jose Guillen has spent all but 6 weeks of the season hitting like Tony Pena Jr., so he shouldn't be your first choice at DH.

Do you see what I've done for you? You now have just two men for the 1B job. One of them might not fare as well against lefties as the other, so there's another big clue as to how your lineup card should be filled out each night.

Trey, please. You're not stupid (I think), so why are you not seeing how desperately we need to see both Ryan Shealy and Kila Ka'aihue get swings against ML pitchers? Shealy's not exactly young, and he's been "fighting for his life" (his words, not mine) in Omaha for way too long. I could argue that he should have been called up in July, but that's in the past so I'll let it go. But it's September now, and plate appearances are few.

Someone a little closer to the situation has said that you're losing it, Trey. People aren't giving you respect in the clubhouse, a dire managerial situation. Is assembling a lineup which contains neither Shealy nor Ka'aihue the way to get anyone to respect you as a manager? You're keeping Guillen in the lineup at a position for which he's not fit because he'd tear you a new one if you ever dared to bench him. That's no way to pick your DH; it's cowardly. Man up, Trey, and do what's good for your team.

Shealy's not going to be a godlike force with MVP numbers - even I know that. But he's out of time; he has this month to show where he belongs, whether that is in the majors or minors; with the Royals or with a team who won't screw him over and play Ross Gload over him all year.

And if you're not going to give Shealy the PAs he desperately needs to prove himself for next year's roster, why not give Ka'aihue a look? You don't need to platoon the two in a traditional sense; Ka'aihue's evaluation doesn't need to be as urgent. But to leave them both him and Shealy out so you can play Gload at first again? What a waste.

At this point, you're lucky we still care at all. Don't push your luck.
Still a fan (despite your best efforts),
Minda

[Ed. note: PS, I'm not dead. But the Royals suck, and I'm in school again, so...homework and crap. Boo!]

Dear Ticketmaster

Dear Ticketmaster,
I hate everything about you. If you hadn't gained a monopoly (aren't those things illegal anyway?) on the online box office business, I would never give you a cent of my precious income. Everything you do is incomprehensibly inefficient, and your random fees make me want to bash my brain with a sledgehammer. Or better yet, yours.

Love,
Minda
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My ticket order for Phantom of the Opera this coming Tuesday
Placed: February 3
Printed: February 11
Mailed: February 13
Received: Not yet, and possibly never. (Next to baseball, this might be my favorite game. It's called "I give Ticketmaster a ton of my money, and they never actually give me anything in return," or "AARRGH DAMN IT!" for short.)

All right. So let's explain why the fact that I haven't received the tickets is such a problem, and what the heck this numbered map means.
Location #1 is approximately where my billing address is, and thanks to Ticketmaster's outdated policy, it's the one and only place they are willing to ship my ticket (if the ticket actually exists). On any other website, I could have separate shipping address, but that would be too convenient to fit in with TM's policies.

Location #2 is where I actually am. Since I live in a dorm, it's a non-permanent address and I can't tie my bank account to it. Hence, we're back at #1, which is really far from #2. Ticket is shipped to one, I'm sitting in the other. Argh.

Location #3 is Omaha, where the performance actually will be. It's about a 55 mile drive from here.

Location #4 is a different color, because it is a worst-case-scenario location. If my parents (in location #1) get the ticket on Monday, my dad could take it to Location #4 on Tuesday (the day of the performance) because he has to be there anyway, so I could drive allllll the way there, and then alllllll the way back to Omaha, hopefully in time for curtain.

So many locations; my head is spinning! Where does this leave me?

Angry and still ticketless, that's where. Thanks, Ticketmaster!

Sweeney to become an A, and more

Well, the wait is over for Mike Sweeney fans. We know where he's going, and that's to Oakland.

I'm happy he gets to be closer to home. I'm happy that a somewhat likeable team is getting all the things I love about my best friend Michael John Sweeney. I'm happy that he is no longer in limbo, I'm happy that he doesn't have to slip quietly into retirement.

He has spent half his life as a Royal, and now he's not a Royal anymore. Predictably, I am still quite sad despite all the times I used the word "happy" in the preceding paragraph. Kansas City is losing a family who has done an incredible amount of good. Mike never quit being generous and selfless toward the people of KC, even when his seasons started to become severely shortened by injuries and the boos started pouring in from all corners of The K. He never said a negative word about those fans, but kept giving and giving wherever he saw need.

I wrote this open letter on the day Sweeney filed for free agency, with the words "Just in case" scrawled at the top of the page. I was still hoping that Sweeney would be around with that familiar letter 'C' on his uniform, and I wouldn't have to consider anyone else being the Royals' captain. Here we go:

Dear new Royals captain,
You have really big cleats to fill. Michael John Sweeney was known to be a fantastic captain. Are you prepared to follow suit? He liked to take freshly-promoted rookies and other new teammates out to dinner to make sure they felt welcome; in fact, it's likely that he did it for you. Are you ready to do the same for your teammates?
Sweeney showed a fierce loyalty to his team and his city. He knew that the 'C' on his shoulder meant he had to lead more than just his fellow Royals. This year alone, he did things for the KC for which he deserves - but would be reluctant to accept - some great reward. Everything that happened to him, good or bad, was an opportunity to lead, and never to complain.
In the end, it was all about spaces on the roster, and Mike didn't make the cut this time. It's your turn now, so congratulations and good luck.

A little dramatic? Yes it is, I know, but obviously Sweeney meant a lot to me. He gave my faith a jump-start this summer, and followed that up in January by checking up on me at the FOCUS national conference. Were it not for Mike, I might still be a lukewarm Catholic (at best) like I was before. It might not be smart for me, readership-wise to wave that flag here (you know, the whole "don't bring up religion or politics in polite company" thing), but I don't care. One of my biggest personal influences is going to be far away from me now, so I'm a bit upset.

Back to some less emotionally-charged business:
Will the Royals name a new captain this season? If so, who would it be? My guesses:
- David DeJesus: He has a few full seasons under his belt, and has been known to lead by example. He works hard, can play adequately well, and has a few years left on his long-term deal with the team.
- Mark Teahen: He's a good model for never complaining about where the team puts him, even when he was demoted to Omaha in 2006 (kind of an anti-Guillen*). He is coming off a less-than-great season, but will almost certainly be better this season.
- Gil Mehce: I know, a pitcher as captain? I don't see why not in Meche's case. He was such a big piece of the improvements made last year, and even if he ends up not being the staff ace, he still seems to be a good leader.

And the bigger question, does a team even need an official captain? I mean, look at what David Riske contributed to the bullpen without having a title. Meche and DeJesus have both had things written about them relating to their leadership abilities. Does it matter if the title is made official? No matter; moving on:

Miguel Olivo will join Guillen in the naughty corner. On one hand, I tend to celebrate players who keep a cool head (see Sweeney, Mike), but I also kind of like players who have the fire in them to defend themselves when someone offends them in the heat of baseball battle (see Sweeney, Mike). As long as forgiveness is granted when it needs to be (see again Sweeney, Mike and Weaver, Jeff), all is well. But...it looks bad for the Royals, who are generally thought of as a Midwesternly-polite team, to have two players miss a chunk of April's games because of naughty behavior. Oh, I had a Guillen-relted asterisk like 13 paragraphs ago, and now would be a good time to cover that.

* Jose Guillen had better have a monster season for all the negative press he has managed to cook up for himself. The steroids thing and the subsequent suspension that will follow were kind of a bad thing on which to start his KC career, but I was ready to forgive. But then, he used FanFest as an excuse to whine about where Trey Hillman was tentatively thinking about playing him. If he has an issue with Hillman's plans, that is fine, but something like FanFest is supposed to be a happy and optimistic time: photos, autographs, feel-good soundbytes, upbeat forecasts, and nothing else. The more I've thought about Guillen's FF whine party (which was sadly devoid of fine cheeses), the more I think he's going to have to have a ridiculous season to make up for his bitchiness. Cursed be the man who makes me wish for Emil Brown back! On the other hand, Teahen is brilliantly making himself look like the better man and the more adaptable player in response to Guillen's immaturity.

- I have another excuse to write about Matt Wright. (In the same Royals Notes as the Olivo mess) This all makes me miss my O-Royals days madly.

- Check out Part I of JoePo's assessment of the upcoming season. I particularly liked his assessment of Teahen, and even the idea of Teahen leading off.

Bannister lovin' in the offseason

You good folks already know that I love Brian Bannister a whole lot, and lately folks at a couple of other sites have been falling all over themselves to praise him too. I love this.

Craig Brown at MVN's Royals Authority talked about Bannister's newfound golfing hobby after the Royals forecast luncheon, and MLB Trade Rumors has a fantastic and insightful 2-part interview with him.

I love hearing about baseball players (as human beings, not just as numbers or as trade bait) during the winter. I'll take any random reminder of the season, though, not just stories about players. Today while I was watching the Nebraska/Kansas basketball game*, I had the pleasure of hearing Fred White's voice doing the broadcast. It was a random and happy flashback to every baseball season of my childhood, even though White was calling a wholly different sport today. Some things were consistent with Royals broadcasts from days gone by: White's familiar voice, obviously, and the fact that he had to find ways to gently suggest that the team for which I was rooting had absolutely no chance to succeed.

*Dear Aleks Maric,
Don't you EVER take another one of those stupid no-look hook shots you attempted so much today. Other than one completely unnecessary 3-point attempt, all of your shots were this pathetic thing. You have all the light touch of a cinder block, so when you poke that shot in the general direction of the basket, I want to punch you for wasting a possession in which the ball actually made it inside of Kansas' "no-catch zone." You have to look at the basket before you shoot if you want to score more than zero against a team like KU, so drop this shot from your repertoire before NBA scouts start to notice this nasty habit.

Hugs,
A mildly jaded fan

Dear cable company

I will get back to baseball-related stuff on Monday or thereabouts, after a weekend in which I'm actually planning to get stranded out of town. See, a big old ice storm is looming over eastern Nebraska, and I have to be in Omaha tomorrow, but if I wait until tomorrow to drive there, I might get stuck and/or in a wreck. We try to avoid those.

But before I go, I'd like to let you all in on what I would say to the random guy at the cable company who hooked me up with a DVR box in August.

Dear random cable guy,
Thank you so much for telling me that the lovely low fee I'd be paying for my DVR service was temporary. It makes it so much easier to budget things when I know my cable bill will be doubling when the end of November rolls around. Your company (which I won't name, but it might rhyme with "Lime Corner") is so very courteous and you really consider what is good and fair for your customers.

Oh,wait a minute. You didn't tell me the price would be changing? Sorry, cable guy, I had you mistaken for NOT a lying, cheating bastard. It's really pleasant opening a bill that is double the amount I expected, with no notice and no explanation.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for being so honest and straightforward. It makes me want to do a lot more business with "Lime Corner Cable" in the future, and tell all my friends to do the same.

With hatred and contempt,
Minda

Now you know.