Customer satisfaction guaranteed...eventually

A long, long, LONG time ago, I wandered into a sporting good store and ordered a Brian Bannister powder blue jersey. Lots and lots of things went wrong with the customer service at this store, which I have detailed at Ladies..., but the jersey was finally shipped to a store in the correct city, so I went to pick it up today.

Turns out the store in which I placed the original order had made yet another mistake: Instead of ordering the $80ish "replica" jersey with crappy iron-on lettering (which is what I actually ordered because it's all I could afford), they ordered the $125 "authentic" model with beautifully stitched lettering. I was pretty crestfallen when I saw this, because I would either have to pay way more than I could afford and then feel buyer's remorse later, or wait another five weeks to get a different one, and have to keep dealing with this particular sporting goods store.

Luckily, the customer service here is much more competent than the other store, in that they actually did something to serve their customer (a novel idea, no?). So I now possess, and am currently wearing, a much nicer jersey than I ordered, at only the cost of the crappy-looking one and a few customer service-induced headaches.

Meanwhile, the Royals lost again. I was fortunate enough to miss this round of heartbreak (although seeing my O-Royals drop both games of a doubleheader wasn't exactly a picnic either), but my brother forced me to watch the bottom of the 9th. What a meanie. I really can not do this anymore, this losing thing. So I will turn to Kyle Davies for hope... :(

Breaking news: Aviles gets the callup

Mike Aviles is now a Kansas City Royal, and it's about damn time. His bat is way too good for AAA, and I (along with many others, like Clark Fosler) can't wait to see what happens with it in the Show. This is awesome.

I'm not expecting batting titles or for Aviles to be crowned MVP or RoY or anything spectacular. I'm just curious and excited to see someone who has been a joy to watch and to be around in the Minors get his turn. Mike's a smart hitter, a great guy, and admittedly I'll miss him while he's not in Omaha. But I mean it wholeheartedly when I say I wish him the best.

UPDATE: Sweet, now Billy Butler has been optioned to Omaha. I like this a lot; many people have been criticizing GMDM for being too stubbornly locked in to guys he likes, regardless of their struggles, but both the Aviles callup and the Butler option prove he is willing to budge if Plan A doesn't work smoothly. I really, really love these moves.

UPDATE II: I forgot this one earlier, too. Kyle Davies was called up and Brett Tomko was sent to the bullpen, so either Peralta or Yabuta will be sent down on Saturday when Davies is added to the active roster on Saturday. I give this one a nod of approval as well, as long as Davies isn't seen as a long-term fix in the rotation, because he isn't. Tomko really does have some nice pitches, so he can be quite useful in middle- to long relief. After last night, I'd be more than happy to see Peralta sent down, but that really isn't fair. Yabuta hasn't done anything to prove he belongs in a major league bullpen, so I'd guess he's the one who will be demoted.

All of these roster moves are crazy, but it's exactly what I was hoping would happen. We'll see, starting tonight with Aviles' inclusion in the lineup, how much of an effect they'll have on the stagnant Royals.

Excruciating.

I can't take this. It's got to be bad for the heart.

I have nothing to say about tonight's disaster that hasn't been said already by better writers (to start: here's Joe, here's Rany).

I'm not quitting the Royals; I'm not selling my fandom on eBay. I'll still be watching, criticizing the bad things, celebrating the good things (wait, there's enough good to warrant an 's' on the end of 'thing'? Hrm.), and hoping like hell that this thing ends. In 2005, during the 19-gamer, I liked to share with my radio listeners all the different ways my team was inventing to lose games. I didn't think that this year of all years would be the one in which they decided to invent more.

Enough of this. I'd rather think about stadium evacuations due to hydrochloric acid spills. That's a lot easier to stomach than anything the big league club is doing. After a sloppy beginning to the top of the 4th, Matt Wright seemed to be working his way toward salvaging the start, and had at that point only given up 2 hits and 2 runs. I was really curious to see what he would do in the 5th after that adventurous 4th, so when the O-Royals went away pretty quietly in the bottom of the 4th I got all ready to pay extra attention to pitching.

Instead, I got pulled aside and warned that we were about to evacuate the stadium because of a chemical spill nearby. This was officially the weirdest postponement I've heard of since the days when games had to be called on account of darkness. The official box score on the front page at oroyals.com says "Postponed: Other." The game will be resumed tomorrow afternoon, and the regularly scheduled game will be shortened to 7 innings, like a normal rainout situation. I wonder how both managers will handle their pitching staffs: Do the starters stay in, since they had each only thrown 4 innings and neither was doing too poorly? Surely that's what they'll do, right? I can't imagine putting that many innings on the bullpens' shoulders, given that they have to get through Game 2 as well.

Lastly, here is a post to which I contributed at Ladies... . I think I'll expand on the ideas in a little more detail here soon, because the balancing act of being a girl and being a sportswriter is something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

KC snatches defeat from the jaws of sweet victory, but at least Omaha won

Clouds, helium balloons, ecstasy, unicorns, Nintendo 64...these are words that come close to describing how high I felt seeing Mark Teahen fly around the bases on what was a few inches away from being a harmless foul ball, but instead was a three-run inside-the-park home run. I screamed with glee, not caring that my entire block may have heard. Did that really just happen?

The words to describe how losing in spite of that hit...those words are not publishable here. How in hell can a team lose after getting THAT to tie things up? Especially when the next pitcher they face is Dennys "The Sphere" Reyes? Come on, Royals. Seriously. Now it's official: Kansas City really is never going to win another game.

On a lighter note, Carlos Rosa picked up win #2 here in Omaha tonight.

PROS: He struck out seven batters in his five innings, walked only* two, kept the ball in the park, and worked his way out of a heck of a jam in the 5th inning. The two hits he gave up in the first four innings were barely hits - a couple of inches lower, and one might have been caught, etc. - and one of those batters was wiped out on a double play.

*Two might be high for a guy like Rosa, but would be a decent number for anyone else. I'm keeping it as a pro, especially given the 7 Ks. The fact that both came in one inning almost put them under the cons list.

CONS: That fifth inning. When Rosa is doing well, he exudes control. Every move he makes, every pitch he throws, everything about him on the mound screams "I own this game." He did not look like that in part of the fifth tonight. After allowing a single to John Mayberry, he struck out the next two batters. Up to this point in the game, Rosa had only had to throw more than 5 pitches to any Oklahoma batter one time. But when RedHawk Travis Metcalf came up to bat, something happened with Rosa's control. He threw a wild pitch that allowed Mayberry to advance to 2nd, and never quite recovered.

Metcalf worked a full count, then singled. Casey Benjamin singled on the 2nd pitch he saw. Jason Ellison worked a full count, then walked. The bases were now loaded, which brought up Ryan Roberts. He, too, worked a full count and then walked to score a run and bring Nelson Cruz to the plate. He worked a full count as well, then struck out.

So Rosa really had to work for his outs when he got to about the third time through the Oklahoma lineup - 39 of his 91 pitches came in that inning. Did the Hawks figure him out? Did he get tired? Did he tweak a muscle when he threw the wild pitch? I don't know. He was good enough to get a win, but I'll be interested to see how he handles the third time through other batting orders the rest of the season.

On the offensive side of things, Mike Aviles pretty much screamed "CALL ME UP ALREADY" by bashing another two home runs, which coordinated nicely with taters from Angel Berroa and Brian Buchanan. It was cold out and a little rainy, but the few who stayed long enough for the victory pigs were a heck of a crowd. Matt Wright will take the mound tomorrow in pursuit of his 2nd win on the season. If last season was any indication, this will be about the time Wright really gets into a groove and starts making everyone look silly. I hope that's how it goes; that was really fun to watch.

Speaking of this time last year, Sunday marked one year since I fell/jumped/awkwarded (yes, "awkward" can be used as a verb, especially by me) off the dugout and sprained my ankle. Good times.

Venting

Question: If you are Dayton Moore, what do you do with this Royals team that has lost, what is it, 358 straight games? These are the three choices that Clark Fosler presents in the linked article:

1. Stay the Course

2. Get Better Now

3. Get Better Later
Obviously none of these three is the right answer on its own. If running a baseball team were that easy, they could have hired me or you as GM instead of having to hire one of the more brilliant baseball minds out there. (Actually, it occurs to me that one or two of you ARE among the most brilliant baseball minds out there, so re-read that sentence but pretend you're me.)

Part of me wishes there were an easy answer, because after today's game I feel certain that this team will never win another game. It's a crappy feeling, one that I was hoping to avoid this season, and one that I want to go away immediately now that it's here. Those hopes, it seems, were for naught, and I must once again retreat into my bunker of bad baseball and start repeating the old "next year" mantra.

I was playing Mario Kart Wii with my brother a few minutes ago, and I was nearing the end of one of those races in which nothing went right. There's a bridge over a high gorge at the very end of this particular track, and right as I was about to pass the end of the bridge and cross the finish line, I was disqualified because more than 30 seconds had passed since the 1st place racer finished. As this message appeared on the screen, my motor bike careened off the bridge and into the gorge, as if to say "You suck hopelessly, so we'll throw you into the abyss. Don't even think about finishing a race, much less winning it."

That's how it felt today when Alex Gordon was thrown out at home. And yesterday, when Guillen, Pena, and Gload were thrown out at home, third, and caught stealing at second, respectively. Not only will the Royals never win, it seems, but another Royal will never cross home plate safely*.

*Disclaimer: I know we'll win again; it may even happen tomorrow. But I have not felt this badly about my Royals yet this year. Sometimes I play the "last year at this time" game to make myself feel better, but when I peeked back at the standings for this date last year, the Royals were only 2 games behind their current record, and in the very same last place as they are right now. So I have to play the "2 years ago at this time" game, and I see that on this date in '06, the team had only won 11 games, and was already a horrifying 23 games out of first. Looking back on that, I wonder how the team has any fans left. Seriously. 23 games out, before June? Yuck.

Point is, I hate losing. I wanted more this year. No, the Royals won't contend; I get that. But I can't be a laughingstock anymore. I am no longer equipped to handle losing streaks of epic proportions. I've moved beyond those meek days of accepted loserdom, because I thought my team had too. So how about it, Royals? Why don't you catch up to me?

Extra frames in Omaha

I know I shouldn't base my expectations for the O-Royals 2008 season on what happened last year, but it's hard not to look forward to on-field fireworks every time I head to work. It has been a quiet season so far, with nobody - not even Mike Jerschele - being ejected or exchanging more than a word or two with the umpires.

But ohhh tonight. Tonight was a weird one from the beginning. Maybe it's just because I was sleep-deprived, or maybe it was something else entirely, but there was a weird feeling in the air. I felt like tonight's game would either be a blowout in Iowa's favor, or it would be a wild, contested, frustrating, bullshitty, scrapping and clawing sort of game that could go to either team.

It was the latter, in every possible way.

Things got a tiny bit hairy for Kyle Davies in the first, when Iowa loaded the bases, but Bobby Scales popped out to end that. In the bottom of the first, a pitch that hit Brian Buchanan also hit home plate umpire Dan Bellino in the ear. Bellino inexplicably decided to hold that against Omaha, and made some incredibly...interesting calls against the Royals later in the game.

The game moved along without a lot of incident for a lot of innings, and aside from a couple of runs, Davies wasn't too bad. (His line: 6.2 IP, 8 hits, 2 runs, 2 ER, 2 walks, 4 strikeouts) Still, there was something stifling and oppressive about the way the Royals couldn't get any offense going. The mood in the dugout was unusually tense. Then came the fireworks.

Here's the game recap for the top of the 9th:

# Casey McGehee advances to 2nd, on interference error by catcher Matt Tupman.
# Omaha Royals catcher Matt Tupman ejected by HP umpire Dan Bellino.
# Omaha Royals Manager Mike Jirschele ejected by HP umpire Dan Bellino.

That "catcher interference" was not, by any account that I heard, a fair call. The umpire alleged that the ball kind of rolled up Tuppy's arm and in behind his chest pads, which would have been interference. Problem was, the ball was in Tup's glove. But Bellino was in an ejecty mood, so he tossed Tupman. Then, Bellino was so impressed with his own "you're outta here" hand signal that he used it a moment later on Jersch. Fine, whatever. Tup should not have been ejected, but what can ya do?

Damaso Espino came in to catch, inappropriate things were said to and about the umpiring crew, and we all moved on. Everyone was antsy with the bottom of the 9th approaching and Omaha still down 2-0. Omaha hadn't been able to get much of anything working in any inning prior to #9, had gone down in order four times, and had batted only a four guys in a few other innings. I don't want to say that I didn't believe we could plate a few runs, but I would not have been surprised to lose again, the way things have been going for the team lately.

Sure enough, first batter strikes out. That brought up the catcher's spot, Damaso Espino's first AB of the game after being brought in for the ejected Tupman. Espino got down in the count 1-2 before fighting back for a walk. The first pitches to Jason Smith, the next batter, were the things that made me know something was going to happen. Smith didn't swing at either of the first two pitches, which he almost always does. Nor did he swing at the third or fourth, ball three and strike one. And then he swung. No way, no way is this ball going to make it out of the yard. Not the way things have been going all night. An Iowa outfielder - and I honestly can't remember if it was Andres Torres or Felix Pie, because I was not breathing - leapt, extending an arm over the wall. Oh no, did he really make that catch? I can't see; please tell me his glove is empty.

The umpire raised an arm and signaled "home run."

That was the most breathlessly, speechlessly, ohmygosh-did-that-just-happen excited I've been all season. I mean...wow. Finally. High fives all around; every fan I could reach got a hearty five. Tie game.

But it would not be a true matchup between the O-Royals and I-Cubs if it ended in only nine innings, so the next two batters struck out to send us to the tenth. The home plate umpire still wasn't done showing off his cool "outta here" move. Neal Musser allegedly balked, and was ejected after muttering something or another. It was kind of garbagey, and got some fans to wonder if the officiating crew was being sponsored by the Iowa Cubs. Brad Salmon came in and got out of the inning unscathed, thanks to a hell of a throw by Mike Aviles to cut a runner off at home.

In the 10th, Aviles came up to bat with two down. I figured if anyone could make the magic happen at that time, Aviles was the guy. Sure enough, he doubled. Then Shane Costa was intentionally walked, brining up Buchanan, who absolutely smoked a low liner down the third base line. I thought for sure it was a hit, but somehow - some-freaking-how, third baseman Casey McGehee got his glove down between his knees and snagged the ball on the fly.

Iowa managed a run in the 12th after being shut down by Salmon in the 11th. Dave Matranga led off the inning, and hit a high, deep drive out to right-center. For a moment, it looked for all the world like it would go out, but that was again probably just the way my tired brain perceived the situation. Mitch Maier and Mike Aviles both singled, and a wild pitch moved them to 2nd and 3rd. After that, Iowa decided to intentionally walk Costa again to load 'em up for Buchanan with one out.

I can't even pretend to be able to describe how the rest happened. Here's the account from the game log:

# Brian Buchanan grounds into a force out, second baseman Eric Patterson to shortstop Andres Blanco. Mitch Maier scores. Mike Aviles scores. Shane Costa out at 2nd. Brian Buchanan advances to 1st, on throwing error by shortstop Andres Blanco.

At that point I realized I was still barely breathing from the Smith home run. Did that really happen? No way, no way, that didn't just happen. Really? We won? Something went our way? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was told later that I looked completely ecstatic as I hopped up on the dugout to celebrate and throw out Victory Pigs. I don't remember any of it, and I'm still trying to breathe.

Not that I saw the game at all, but...

I didn't hear a thing about Jon Lester's no-hitter against the Royals last night until it was almost over (I was at work, a loss for the Omaha Royals). In the 7th, I heard it was 7-0 Boston, and that Alex Gordon was on deck. In the 9th, one of my superiors, Adam, warned me he was going to tell me something that I wasn't going to like. "Looks like Lester is an out away from no-hitting your Royals."

Dang, he was right. I didn't like it. But the weird thing is, I don't hate it either. There's something about no-hitters that I love more deeply than most things in baseball. It's one of those rare things that makes the Baseball Tonight crew shut up about home runs for once and celebrate pitching. It's the way a defense bands together to make impossible plays for their pitcher when they realize there's a shot at history on the line. It's the way there's always a cool story behind the guy throwing it, a story that's a little bigger than sportswriters searching for an angle.

Look back at last year, at Clay Buchholz's second big league start. I'm not a Red Sox fan by any means, but that video gives me chills every time, makes me root for the defense to not mess it up, makes my jaw hit the floor every time Dustin Pedroia makes the diving stop and rolls to fire it to first in time. It's beyond baseball, I think. It has to be a little bit of magic.

That magic is why I can't be too pissed off that the Royals were no-hit last night. Sure, I'd rather have had KC win, but it's kind of cool to see a young guy say "F*** you" to cancer and do something like this. It's cool to see any kind of guy do something like this.

As usual, JoePo and Brian Bannister said it best, so I'll let them finish this out:

There’s no manual telling a player what to say after getting no-hit. There’s no model for how to feel. Mostly, there’s silence. Pitcher Brian Bannister dresses in front of his locker. He watched the whole thing from the dugout, of course, and he heard the excitement of the crowd, and he understood the magic of the moment, and he felt the agony with his teammates. Brian is never at a loss for words. Now, though, he says he doesn’t really know what to say.

“If someone had to throw a no-hitter against us, I’m glad it was Jon,” he finally says. “That’s just an amazing story after what he has gone through. As a fellow pitcher, I can see just how amazing this is. It hurts to get no-hit, but you think about what he did. You know, that’s why I love this game.”

Clutter and closers

I'm not sure how much more I can take of O-Royals non-success at home. After the team did so well (45-27) at Rosenblatt Stadium last year, it's odd to see them lose there. It's odd to see the bullpen give up runs at all, much less Neal Musser giving up gobs of them all the time. Heck, he gave up as many runs in the 9th inning yesterday afternoon than he gave up all of last season at AAA.

Let's look at the 4-game series against Tacoma, which the Raniers swept.
Game 1: This was Tacoma's all the way. Omaha scored one in the first, and none after that. Fine, whatver; not the bullpen's fault. But then...

Game 2: The Royals led 2-0 going into the 7th (which was the final inning because this was a double-header). Matt Wright finally had an outing in which he looked like himself - 6 innings of solid shutout baseball. It was fabulous. Then Musser came in, which is generally not cause for concern, especially with a 2-run cushion. The on-field staff all prepared for our post-victory duties: Buckets of Victory Pigs had been prepared, I was ready to sing a song (because it ain't over until the Fat Lady sings). Yes, things looked good... until Muss started pitching. He walked the first two batters on eight pitches - ouch! - and then surrendered a 3-run home run. To Musser's credit, he did get three strikeouts in the inning, but the Omaha offense (and baserunning) didn't cut it in the bottom of the inning.

Game 3: Tacoma jumped out to an early lead from which Omaha couldn't recover. Not the bullpen's fault either.

Game 4: This game was a damn good one, until it wasn't. Brandon Duckworth cruised through 7.2 innings, giving up just 5 hits. Both teams pitched and defended well, and the game moved along quickly through the first 8 innings. It was tied at one-all going into the 9th. Again it was Musser on the mound, and again Tacoma busted out a three-run home run from which the Omaha offense couldn't recover. (Fun fact: Left fielder Shawn Garrett was the one who hit both of the game-clinching homers for Tacoma. They are his only two taters of the season.)

So what has happened to Mr. Dependable/Unstoppable/Don't Even Think About Getting On Base? For pity's sake, this is Neal Musser and it is Triple-A ball. Giving up runs...that's not supposed to happen. Not at home, not anywhere or anytime.

The front office and on-field staff have taken steps to cut down on the number of last-inning shenanigans by opponents. The "Fat Lady" suit in which we dress up to sing after victories is no longer called by that name. General Manager Martie Cordaro figures that referring to the Fat Lady while a game is in progress is a huge jinx. So in a meeting with the entire front office staff, Cordaro mandated that she is to be referred to as "The Closer."

It's just unfortunate that our closer has to be Eric Gagne.

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Meanwhile, in real life, I'm finishing moving in to the apartment my brother is graciously sharing with me this summer. It's been less than fun trying to carve into the mountain of my clutter, but it's almost to the point where I could have a guest or two (more than that might not fit) over without having my stuff make the apartment a socially unacceptable mess.

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One more O-Royals note, in case you hadn't heard: Carlos Rosa has been called up! No corresponding roster move has been made, so it's not all the way official yet, but he's been here in the city for a couple of days already. I can't wait to see him pitch, whenever it may happen.

On doors and RENT

Right as I read the story about John Bale breaking his hand by punching a door, a commercial for Duranautic Doors was on. It made me giggle. What didn't make me giggle is having to add a Royal to the list of really stupid baseball injuries for the year. As dumb as Hunter Pence walking through a glass door? Nah...but still pretty dumb.

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This is completely unrelated to everything -- one of the "Other Things" promised in the blog title. I saw RENT last night at Omaha's Orpheum Theatre. The cool thing about a great performance is that, no matter how well you already know the story and regardless of the fact that you know every word to every song, you can still become lost in the story, moved by it like it was the first time you've seen it.

...unfortunately, this wasn't a great performance.

Our Mimi Marquez (I think it was Jennifer Colby Talton, but I could be wrong)was terrible, which ruins a great deal of the show. She sounded really meek, like it was her first performance and she was too nervous to sing out. She had a nice voice, but never let it rip the way I feel like a Mimi should. "Out Tonight" should be a loud, confident, forceful demand, not a mere suggestion that just in case you didn't already have plans, maybe we could hang out or something. To her credit, she was decent in "Goodbye Love," but for everything before that I wanted to go shake her and yell at her to just sing out, dammit.

Luckily, both Roger and Mark were really good (played by Heinz Winckler and Jed Resnick, respectively), especially together in "What You Own." Fun fact: Winckler was the winner of the first South African Idol.

The best in the show was Anwar F Robinson as Collins, which says a lot because Collins isn't normally my favorite character. The reprise of "I'll Cover You" was heart-wrenching.

I had to take a theater class last semester to fulfill some arts requirements, and my teacher (who is awesome) preached a 10 Commandments of Theatergoing. I wish more people would adhere to these things -- simple, common-courtesy things like not leaving your seat three freaking times during the show (my seat was directly atop an aisle). More disturbing was the fact that the Orpheum's ushers were actually seating latecomers in the middle of numbers! I can understand not wanting to wait all the way until intermission to seat them (even though that is technically the proper way to go about it), but for pity's sake don't seat them in the middle of songs! "One Song Glory" is such a powerful, intimate glimpse into Roger's musical aspirations as he struggles with the reality that he has AIDS, but all I saw was the back of a Simple Plan* hoodie, worn by a girl who was standing with an usher who had no business seating anybody at that time. Shame on the Orpheum for doing that.

*I wasn't aware they had any fans. Guess I was wrong -- they have one, and she is an offensive audience member.

Overall, I'm glad I went, at the very least so I can say I've seen RENT. But it wasn't up to the standards I've been able to expect from shows brought in by Omaha Performing Arts. Sigh.

On Buzz Bissinger

It amazes me what fear of change will make a man say. Out of nowhere, a man who has spent 40 years showing he knows how to craft words in a pleasing, meaningful way could not think of anything more to spout than “I really think you’re full of shit.”

The crafter of these fine words, of course, was Buzz Bissinger, whose bizarre and pathetic attack on Will Leitch you’ve probably already seen (but is here if you haven’t). Before Bissinger interjected, the conversation had been lighthearted and sensible even where viewpoints differed. Bob Costas brought up the point that some blogs take on a mean-spirited tone, and then Leitch (blogger) responded in a level-headed, mild-mannered way before Bissinger (classically trained legitimate sportswriter!) interjected with the completely random assertion that Leitch is full of shit. Which side is mean-spirited, again?

I remember reading once how threatened maestros were by the advent of radio back in the day. They were certain that if people could listen to orchestras on the radio, they’d cease to attend live performances, and the musicians and the maestros themselves would be out of business. Replace “radio” with “blogs,” and “maestros” with “newspaper writers” and this is exactly the fear Bissinger faces. Have people stopped attending symphony performances? Heck no; if an orchestra is good, people will travel many miles and shell out all kinds of money to see them – or any of a thousand other types of musicians that came into existence only because new forms of listening to music were introduced. The difference is that advances in technology have given music fans – or in this case, sports fans – a choice.

Something that really insulted me as a young person who loves reading is that he seems sure that my generation (or even Leitch’s) wouldn’t know good writing if we saw it, because our internet is so full of bad writers. That’s offensive; is he not aware that a lot of people his age – people with journalism degrees, press passes, and decades of experience -- can also suck? Working for a newspaper does not make a man a good writer; writing for a blog does not make a man a bad writer, and shame on Bissinger for refusing to acknowledge that. He did nothing to help his case; his own fear of change will only contribute to the death of newspapers. If “traditional” journalists don’t start to embrace or at least acknowledge the new avenues by which information is available, they will cease to have a place in sports fans’ daily lineup of reading, and will have no one but themselves to blame.

UPDATE: I could have saved myself the trouble of stewing over this matter all night (and accidentally oversleeping a final exam by 45 minutes) by just referring to this post of JoePo's from last fall. A lot has been said in the last few days about the Bissinger tirade specifically, but it all boils down to a stupid Us v. Them debate that doesn't need to be brought up another time. OK, I promise this is the last I will say about Buzz Bissinger.

It's all my fault

More about my unmentionables than you ever wanted to know
Brian Bannister tonight...did anything go right? 30 pitches every inning for three excruciating innings. Three home runs, including a grand slam. It was painful to watch, especially since Bannister is my favorite Royal. If I had to watch a KC pitcher throw that kind of game, I'd give a great deal for it to be anyone besides him.

But it was Bannister, and this outing was entirely my fault.

Last summer during the middle of the season, I noticed that, by coincidence of laundry, I ended up wearing the same pair of drawers every time Banny started. It was an accident for a while, but I starting doing it on purpose after that because it seemed to be working well for all involved (except Royal opponents). I held over that routine into this season...until today.

I realized partway through the day that I had made the underwear mistake, and considered changing. I thought about it, but figured Banny would not need the help of my lucky drawers since it's "just the Rangers." (Sorry, Micah.)

I haven't finished watching the game yet -- Joel Peralta just gave up a 2-bagger, making it 9-1 Texas -- and I almost don't want to finish. I know how it ends (remind me again why Pena is allowed to bat in such a situation, ever?). I just want this night to be over so the Royals can start starting over again.

How did I become a Royals fan?

Lee Warren at Royal Reflections was kind enough to interview me to discover why I am a Royals fan. Enjoy!

Still here, thawing out

Last night was yet another cold, rainy night for the Omaha Royals and their faithful fans. Five Royals players homered, but...Omaha still lost. It sucked.

Overheard in the Omaha dugout: "Why are there still people here? Don't they know it's cold and raining out here?"

Before that game, I tagged along to help with this event. We got to feed some fish, using handfuls of other, smaller fishes. (Note to self: If I am ever famous, I should be as nice to my fans as Matt Wright is.)

And today, the sun came out, and Jorge de la Rosa was awesome, and Omaha pulled out a sweet 3-2 victory.

But I haven't been around here to write about any of these things for two reasons:
1) I have not been near a reliable Internet connection, and more recently
2) This came out.

I haven't died, abandoned this blog, or given up hope that the Royals can win again. And once I get through this week (dead week), things will be back to a more normal pace here. Thanks for your patience!

O-Royals tidbits

We are already sixteen games into the season, and the Omaha Royals have a sweet 10-6 record that puts them atop the PCL North. Three of the losses have been at home, and three have been on the road, so it's too early to tell if the team will repeat its drastic home/road split from last year. (In 2007, they were 45-27 at home, and just 28-44 on the road.)

A long, long time ago, I heard that Jorge de la Rosa would be the Player to be Named Later in exchange for Ramon Ramirez. Instead, he has stayed with Omaha, and has done his usual April routine of command and poise in his last couple of starts. He looked great against New Orleans yesterday, going 6 innings, and giving up just three hits and zero runs. He also struck out six and walked only two.

DLR's BB/9: 2.94
DLR's K/9: 8.82

Now, if he is to be the PTBNL, I hope that happens before Colorado sees him hit the Wall of Doom in mid-May.

This wouldn't be a true O-Royals post here without some mention of Matt Wright. I'm getting a little worried that his slow start is something worse than just a slow start. Wright pitched on Saturday to start the new homestand, and was less than sharp. He has also been less than sharp in his previous outiings -- here are his stats for the year. I still believe he can right the ship (or...Wright the ship? Thank you, I'll be here all week), so I will still refer to him as my favorite O-Royal starter. But he has looked like a completely different pitcher than the dominant one I saw last year in Omaha and in November in the World Cup. In his good and even just decent starts, Wright controlled the game by locating well and giving away a smallish number of free bases on balls.

Right now, his fastball has very little bite, and even less late movement than usual. He doesn't seem to be locating well, and has already walked six in just 14 innings. That's good for a BB/9 of 3.86, compared his 2007 BB/9 of 2.63. I realize I'm working with a small sample size, but those numbers accurately tell the story of how he looks when one watches his starts in person.

One question that I've heard floating around at Rosenblatt Stadium...could Wright be joining John Bale in the Dead arm Club?

That's it for now; I need to get ready for two more games in Omaha before an off day Wednesday. Mike Maroth will start for Omaha tonight against New Orleans Zephyr Joselo Diaz.

BIG news for B&OT

After the departure of a few of their fine blogstresses, the Ladies... were looking for new contributors. After a rigorous screening process that included a background check, urinalysis, submission to random drug testing, an IQ test, and a strange ritual involving paddles, two kittens, and KY Jelly, I am one of them.

Why would I want to write for such a website? Fame, glory, and the big bucks. Duh. Also because I've always loved the balance the Ladies... provide for me as a sports fan. The Ladies... all legitimate sports fans with intelligent* thoughts, ideas, statistical knowledge, etc. about our favorite teams and sports. And we all have our regular blogs and other websites for those ideas. But from time to time, I find myself wanting to extol the virtues of high socks and eyeblack, or criticize MLB's dumbest goatees, but this blog isn't really the place; that wouldn't be fair to people who are here for actual baseball (...and, uh, Other Things?). I can do those posts there, comfortably assured that Ladies... readers understand that it is a balance, not merely a girly obsession with athlete asses in tight pants.

*Them, not me.

This is by no means the end of Baseball and Other Things. It's more like B&OT now has a baby sister. And that I'm this much closer to being Internet-famous.

Fantasy conundrum

I resisted the urge to try fantasy baseball for years. I know myself well enough to know that once I started a fantasy team, I'd get hooked and spend way too much time on it. I was pretty much right.

And tonight, I am faced with a heck of a quandary with my fantasy team: I forgot to move Jared Weaver off my roster before he faced the Royals tonight! Now, the Royals are knocking him around a bit, which is great for me as a fan, but is doing horrible things for my staff's ERA and WHIP (which had been at an astounding 0.00 and 0.40, respectively, for the last day and a half).

I have been thinking all season that I don't always like the way my fantasy involvement makes me look at games. It works beautifully when Brian Bannister throws a complete game so I get a whole bunch of points, but what when a Royal opponent is a member of my team, like tonight? It's just kind of disconcerting to be watching any game for a reason other than enjoying watching baseball.

On the plus side, I have paid closer attention to some teams because their players are on my team. It's making it easier for me to work on paying better attention to the NL. But it still weird. What if I'm watching the Yankees and Red Sox? I always root for Boston over New York, but I have Mariano Rivera, so it helps my (fantastic) staff if he dominates. But I also have two Boston outfielders, so maybe it would help me if those guys got their offense going, at Rivera's expense. I don't like the relativity of it all; I'd rather just enjoy watching and root for whomever I wish.

I could just convert to an all-Royals team via some heavy trading, or go with a silly theme (bad facial hair?), to cut down on how much I am actually bothered by this discontinuity.


Meanwhile, in real baseball, Gil Meche has thrown first-pitch strikes to 13 of his first 16 batters faced. That's a good sign. He has also gotten rid of that silly triangular beard. Do you think those factoids are related? I tend to think so...

Also, I have some fairly large news that I will share in more detail later this week. It's pretty exciting for me though. Feel free to speculate, but I'll eliminate some possibilities: I'm not getting married, I'm not pregnant. The rest is fair game.

Go Royals!

Double your awesome, double your fun

Learning is an incredible thing. Here's what I have been learning from the Royals lately:
- One complete game is really fun to see as a fan.
Predictably, I was thrilled yesterday as Bannister neared the end of his smart, efficient, mostly flawless complete game. I didn't get to behold the entire triumph but Bannister's late inning pitches all looked deliberate, graceful, and most importantly, baffling to all the hitters he faced. After the start he's had this season, he darn well deserves his AL Player of the Week honor. (Well, co-honor.)

- Two is a whole lot better.
I wondered how Greinke would follow up his brilliant 8-inning performance from the other night. I hoped for a good start, but had no idea it would be that good.

During his postgame interview with Joel Goldberg (who I think I dislike, but I'm not sure yet), I IMed my brother that Greinke sounds a whole lot more comfortable with being interviewed than he used to. I know he used to have a terrible fear of being on camera because he thought people would think he was dumb. He has done so much lately that make me want to send a fruit basket of thanksgiving to his doctors; obviously his pitching mentality has improved exponentially from his 2005 season, he looks much more comfortable with the media, and he was even out among a throng of fans handing out Butler powder blues on Saturday.

To me, it's that last one that is most telling about his psychological progress. Even to people who don't suffer from social anxieties, being inside a cluster of freebie-seeking fans can induce a bit of an internal panic. It happened to me, and I'm deeply impressed that he put himself in that situation (and was apparently fine).

- Good defense is sexy.
Mark Teahen's leaping catch on the track, Grudzielanek's 10 assists, all the double plays. Pena's feed to Grud in the 2nd double play was really, really pretty. Please, sir, I want some more.

-Quote of the night:
"I'm gonna struggle off a guy one of these days." -Billy Butler, on the Royals Live postgame. I call BS; there's no way he will ever struggle.
(Did anyone else notice the careless lcoker room camera work that led to a shower being televised? WTF, Fox Sports Net??? How do you not forsee that one happening??)

- Meanwhile, down on the farm(ish)
It appears that Jorge de la Rosa is acting like his April 2007 self. In his start tonight at Memphis, DLR threw 53 of his 72 pitches for strikes on his way to 4 Ks, no walks, and 4 hits over 5 innings. If Jorge is indeed the PTBNL for Ramon Ramirez, I still like that deal a lot, because I can be fairly certain that DLR will return to his later-in-2007 form of wildness all over the walls.

Joel Peralta held the Redbirds off in two solid innings, and Neal Musser worked the 8th and 9th for his 3rd save of the year.

For those keeping score at home, Angel Berroa had three hits in that game, a 4-1 Omaha win.

Harlan Chamberlain collapses in his home

Many of you may have already seen this linked from Ball Star or elsewhere, but it is pretty sad:

Harlan Chamberlain in critical condition

According to sources, Harlan Chamberlain collapsed at his home in Lincoln, Neb. He was listed in critical condition at St. Elizabeth Regional Medical Center in Lincoln, a nursing supervisor there told the Daily News on Sunday night. Chamberlain learned the news after the Yankees' loss to the Red Sox at Fenway Park.

Chamberlain's sister called a Yankees official during the eighth inning in an attempt to reach Chamberlain, who was in the bullpen at the time.

After the game, a source said, Chamberlain returned the call, only to learn of his father's collapse.

Sources said Chamberlain broke down in tears inside the clubhouse, as manager Joe Girardi consoled him.

I am a Yankee-hater; that is my job. But I love Joba Chamberlain and how close -- inextricably linked, really -- he and his father. And I cheer hard for all Huskers, no matter where they go on to play. I fear what would happen to Joba's trademark celebrations, not to mention his astounding pitching, if he was without that important piece of his life.

Prayers for Harlan, if you are the praying sort.

The baseball gods HATE GI Johnny

Non-Husker fans, you may leave this post alone if you wish. But I really feel the need to vent (The kind with words, not the Coors kind).

Nine innings. One run. That's a damn good pitching outing, right?

...not good enough for Johnny Dorn tonight, as the Huskers scored no runs against Oklahoma State.

Boo. BOOOO.

Guillen can play

Not only can Jose Guillen play baseball, he's being allowed to as well.. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

I, like others before me, am pleased that he isn't required to serve his suspension. Had he been accused of purchasing HGH by any means that could be held up in court, I would have no problem if Selig made Guillen and others serve suspensions. But since courts aren't too fond of he said/she said "evidence" of malfeasance, it would set a dangerous precedence if those suspensions were upheld.

It is safe to say that Bud Selig has made some unwise decisions as commissioner, but to commute suspensions related to the Mitchell Report is the right call, all the way. If something more substantial appears later that implicates Guillen or anyone else in the use/purchase of illegal PEDs, suspend them at that time. In the meantime we have bigger things to worry about, like whether Guillen will start to hit $36 million worth of baseballs.

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In case you missed it, the KC Star wrote about my cousin Chris* this week, and the large, shiny, high-definition toy he now operates. I thought it was cool of Mellinger to give people an idea of what it takes to make something as ambitious as Crown Vision work (here's the video that accompanied the story).

*Chris, by the way, gives Mike Sweeney a run for his money in the quest for the "Nicest Man in the World" title. True story.

The team's start, which has been described as "red-hot" by the Baseball Tonight folks (yes, them. Let me mention some East Coast baseball to make up for their mentioning someone further inland: Yankees! Red Sox! Tonight!), combined with the splendor of Crown Vision, are exactly what needed to happen in the first part of this season. It's unfortunate that the opening home series was shat upon by Mother Nature, but I imagine that this weekend's series against Minnesota -- particularly with the giveaway of those incredible Butler powder blues -- will bring a lot of first-time or long-absent Kansas Citians into the stadium, and the team's continued rise from despair to mediocrity to success will bring them back.

By the way, in case you wondered, Crown Vision apparently isn't too much of a distraction to the players. And is anyone else unsurprised that Joey Gathright enjoys watching replays of himself on it?

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Play has started for the Northwest Arkansas Naturals, and despite their terrifying mascot, people in the area seem to be excited about the team. That's good.

...but I'm still scared of that mascot.

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David DeJesus is still out with that ankle injury, which is great news for Joey Gathright, but might be better news for whoever has to figure out where to put Gathright after DDJ gets back. I'm not sure if that's tonight* against the Twins or later still, but I don't blame DeJesus for being cautious.

I can not believe all the attention Joey's base stealing has gotten on ESPN since the season started. It's especially startling considering how poor of a thief he has been until this spring.

*On that note, tonight's game time can not come soon enough. I woke up from a nap at 4:00, and the overcast skies outside made my internal clock certain that it was later than that. Therefore, game time is taking even more excruciatingly long to get here than usual.

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Something to ponder -- Craig Brown makes a case for Tony Pena, Jr. being taken out of the lineup in favor of Alberto Callaspo, comparing Pena's current situation to the one KC faced with Angel Berroa last spring.

Think about the Pena trade last spring. Berroa had to go. He was a disaster offensively and defensively. Enter Pena. At the time, I said it wasn’t a big upgrade because with the bat, Pena and Berroa are essentially the same player. But Pena is better defensively. So the move is a net benefit for the team.

But now the Royals are continuing to improve and it’s time for GMDM to find a solution. Is it Callaspo? While all signs point to him at second base, from what I’ve seen of him he’s good enough defensively at short. I’m thinking the offensive edge that Callaspo would bring to the lineup is greater than the defensive edge the Royals would have from Pena. In other words, Callaspo’s bat is more valuable than Pena’s glove.

But Sam Mellinger disagrees somewhat:

Pena can't continue to hit .037, obviously. And he won't. He was actually better than expected at the plate last year, and I can't believe he just forgot how to hit over an offseason.

He's in a bad slump, it just looks worse because it's at the beginning of the season. It's also easier to deal with when the Royals are winning.

That being said, he does need to produce offensively, and I think that's obvious. You can look at it as another sign of the Royals' progress. Pena was terrific last year in part because he wasn't Angel Berroa. That's no longer good enough.